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In the book Own Your Past, Change Your Future, Dr. John Delony exposes the heart of emotional scars by saying this:
“Abuse turns relationships into poison. It’s like being lost at sea and dying of thirst, but surrounded by the wrong kind of water.”
What this passage is talking about is that…
Relationships can make us better or bitter. That happens because habits are not learned, habits are imitated.
If relationships are so deterministic, identifying positive and, maybe more importantly, negative impacts of relationships must be a priority.
But what is a negative relationship, exactly?
Well, I like to summarize this into 7 types of toxic people.
I call them the 7 types of vampires.
Why vampires? What are there 7 types?
Let’s learn how to identify and, better, how to deal with each one of them.
What’s a Toxic Person (Vampire)
The first thing we need to cover is to define what a ‘toxic person’ is and why I’m calling them vampires.
Toxic people, as vampires…
- Live by draining life from others.
- Can’t see themselves in the mirror, so they don’t spot their failures and ugliness.
- Look the same forever. They don’t change their aspect or evolve.
Identifying the vampires among us is a critical step toward safeguarding your mental and emotional health.
So, here are the 7 types of vampires.
The 7 types of vampires:
1) The Immature
They inflate bad situations.
They refuse to take responsibility for their actions, leaving a trail of chaos and expecting others to clean up their mess.
How to Deal: Agree and step away to avoid being dragged into their chaos.
2) The Negative
They only see the bad side of good things. They can drain positivity from any environment.
For them, even the most enjoyable moments have a black spot.
How to Deal: Don’t react to their negativity. That will expose their narrative as a horrible imagined scenario, instead of the truth.
3) The Cynic
They pretend to care but they have no capacity to show any affection.
They are quick to dismiss everything with skepticism and, regardless of their promises, they will never be there for you when you need them.
How to Deal: Don’t rely on them for support or validation; their verdict is not a reflection of your worth.
4) The Gossiper
They feed on reputation destruction, always eager to spread rumors.
They won’t keep any secret and everything they hear can and will be weaponized.
They climb the ladder of life by stepping onto other people’s corpses.
How to Deal: Don’t answer their questions or provide them with information they could twist and weaponize.
5) The Hypocrite
They judge others harshly for the very faults they possess, failing to practice what they preach and creating an environment of dishonesty and double standards.
How to Deal: Expose their behavior when safe to do so, or simply recognize their judgments as a reflection of their own issues, not yours.
6) The Envious
They don’t want to win; they want you to lose.
They are consumed by a desire to thrive at the expense of others.
How to Deal: First you have to spot them. Tell them good news and see how they react.
If they keep the conversation about you and are happy about it. You’re safe.
But if they start talking about them. Make sure that is the last time you share your wins with them.
7) The Tyrant
They seek control and domination instead of connection.
They see others just as tools for their bidding, imposing their will and opinions on others.
How to Deal: Make a stand, showing that you respect yourself too much to be dominated or bullied. They will turn to easier prey and forget about you.
Conclusion
So these are the 7 types of toxic people, AKA vampires, among us.
Despite the fact I’m using an anecdotal approach to make it easier to comprehend, these personas are based on extensive psychological and sociological research.
Each persona embodies a unique form of toxicity that can drain your energy, cloud your judgment, and ultimately hinder your happiness.
Keep in mind that the goal is not to start a witch hunt but to become more mindful of the energies we allow into our lives.
As you journey forward, start by seeking the vampire in you and commit to finding the light in others and yourself, nurturing connections that uplift and inspire.
After all, in the battle against the vampires among us, our greatest weapon is our own resilience and the ability to evolve beyond our encounters with them.
